Exclusive Fuck Buddies?

~ kalliepygus

Not long after Neighbor Boy fulfilled his duties for the first night of The Convenient Oral Agreement, he pushed negotiations on condom use, cum shots, and opened discussions for being exclusive fuck buddies…. Never have I ever heard any situation where fuck buddies are exclusive. Is this even possible?

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Before you even ask, the answer is no, I don’t allow him to fuck me without a condom. That would be stupid. We are both fucking other people and in no way have become “exclusive fuck buddies.” But that being said, this conversation, along with a few similar conversations we have had since, got me thinking about terms of casual relationships.

Facials… really boys? And why do guys always push to fuck without condoms? Is it possible to fuck someone exclusively without being in a relationship? Or can fuck buddies be a “priority” for condomless sex? If two people agreed to be “exclusive fuck buddies,” how is that different from being in a monogamous relationship?

What the fuck is an exclusive fuck buddy?

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

 

72 thoughts on “Exclusive Fuck Buddies?”

  2. I’m of the “anything can be negotiated” mindset when it comes to sex, but you have to ultimately trust the person if you’re going to agree to condomless sex. That *could* happen with fuck buddies, but it’s uncommon. Probably mostly situations where the sex is incredible, but you realize you’re not compatible for a relationship…

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    1. I totally agree. And it’s not like I couldn’t trust him, but I feel like if I’m having condomless sex, it needs to be with someone who I’m in a relationship with even if it’s a polyamorous or open relationship because there is a larger foundation of trust that goes beyond just sex. With neighbor boy, I trust him 100% sexually, but our relationship is just that, a mostly sexual thing. I can see how it could work for some people, but I also know that we’re both regularly fucking various other people and shit happens, so I’d rather just be safe.

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      1. It has to work FOR YOU. And you get that, it sounds like. Condomless sex is more intimate (setting aside any risk)…I wonder if that’s part of how you feel? (Not trying to psychoanalyze you, just something I’ve thought about)

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      2. I can see why it’s more intimate, and perhaps that’s partially why subconsciously, but my biggest concern is my vaginal health. My pH levels are super sensitive and having condomless sex really messes up my pH.

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      3. Luckily I’ve never had that issue, but I know it’s a “thing”. Definitely not worth it then. I get so much more pleasure out of condomless sex that I’m willing to negotiate on it (recognizing there are risks involved) occasionally…but I kind of feel like most women don’t notice the huge difference I feel like I do

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      4. And that’s the thing, I actually do enjoy condomless sex! Condoms also irritate my vagina, so extra lube is sometime necessary for it. I can’t win with or without condoms, but the whole pH imbalance is a lot worse than needing extra lube when condoms start to irritate my vagina.

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      8. Thanks. It sucks, but luckily I know how to manage both and do have very amazing sex still. I know that there are people who have similar issues and it effects them to the point that sex isn’t enjoyable, which is truly unfortunate.

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    1. Thanks! Glad you liked it. Although it may seem like he wasn’t playing the long game, he’s been around since August now and there has definitely made an effort to explore and build trust and has been an amazing fuck buddy 😉

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    1. Thanks for reblogging! We’re definitely friends with benefits, but exclusive fuck buddies adds a whole different element to it which I don’t know could work for me and I’m unsure if it’s truly possible

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  5. I believe so. It depends on how good the sex is and how attracted the two are to each other. It’s amazing how long we guys will stay committed to some good, wet pussy. And for women, it’s the same. But the agreement has to mutually understood….

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      1. Those are great questions. It depends on the people in the situation. To me, when neither is dating someone else and the two actually develop emotions for each other, then it may be a monogamous relationship. Still, it is not official until the two agree to it..

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      2. True, there obviously has to be some sort of an agreement to make it official. But if two people are exclusively fucking, isn’t that basically a monogamous relationship? Or is it that they aren’t allowed to fuck someone else if they’re exclusive fuck buddies, but they can still date other people? It’s a really weird idea. Everyone’s terms to casual sex is different, I’m just unsure exclusive fuck buddies could really work.

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      3. U raise some interesting points. It would definitely be a sticky situation, no pun intended. Lmao. I’ve had fuck buddies, but none exclusive, at least not on my end…

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      4. And same, all of my fuck buddies haven’t been exclusive. I’ve always ended up having a few guys in rotation and I know most of them were sleeping with other chicks. Part of the fun of being single is having that freedom to sleep with whoever you want. But if you’re exclusive fuck buddies, you’re technically not in a traditional relationship so you’re single, but somehow you’re not allowed to fuck around? Totally perplexing situation.

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      6. It could be worth it because the sex is good, but I also like the excitement you feel when fucking someone new, so that is probably why I can’t be exclusive with anyone unless in a relationship. Even then, I’m leaning more and more towards polyamory

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      7. The most exciting part for me is the chase. It’s like, “Is she gonna give me some pussy or nah?” I love the suspense. Then, once I’m inside, I fuck her brains out. Women cumming turns me on. A lot. I also like the new person thing as well…

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      8. See… that same excitement you get from the chase, I get from being chased. And I get excited by exploring and seeing what a guy is like in bed. Once I get bored though, if he doesn’t have much more to offer, I move on. But even if the sex is good, I still crave the excitement of being chased or being with someone new.

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      11. Now, I’ll be compelled to write something on my blog, maybe about another blogger that I met (only in fantasy), how I tasted her sweetness, how we could not ever be anything more than sex buddies but there should have been more, must’ve been more. I don’t know. Lol…

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  6. He must be truly amazing in bed, otherwise, I would have lost interest after half this conversation. He’s really selfish and obviously immature. He’ll say anything to trap you into getting what he wants. I would have been too annoyed and anytime I’d see him I’d probably want him not to talk until he’s gone! I’d just remember this conversation over and over! lol

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    1. Lol… I’ve told him from the start that he needs to learn how to talk to women. See this post:

      Proceeding with Caution | The Boys I Encounter

      Proceeding with Caution

      But he is very good in bed and although his messages read very selfish, if anything I’m the selfish one in bed that gets everything I want. And there have been multiple times I’ve told him I would have cut him off long ago if he didn’t live conveniently downstairs… so it’s a combination of his skills in bed and the convenience that has allowed me to overlook some flaws.

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  7. Pingback: Turning Fantasy into Reality | The Boys I Encounter

    1. Well… actually, if you’re non-monogamous and are sleeping with multiple people and those people are sleeping with multiple people, there’s STDs that can pass even undetected for some. So condom use is important. Also, for a lot of women, unprotected sex leads to pH imbalance and for some women, like myself, I easily get bacterial infections when I have pH imbalance. So condom use is very important to me while I’m not in a monogamous relationship or with a primary I can trust to not fuck around with other people without condoms.

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  12. I guess theoretically it would be possible. But if there’s no chance of a relationship, it would make more sense to keep your options open in case something more promising comes up.

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    1. Thanks for your input. There’s definitely no chance of a relationship with Neighbor Boy. I’m also leaning more and more poly/non-monogamous, so exclusively being with anyone seems unlikely.

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  13. The neighbor boy has got to watching way too much porn and does not understand, that facials and other things are done for a couple who are in a monogamous relationship. Now if he wants to do that there are plenty of street walkers or maybe get a job in the porn industry himself as long as it is not Wicked Studios. They practice safe sex as much as possible. They use condoms in the sex scenes. A turnoff for me but I am in a relationship and my fantasy with those girls, I get to do what I want and not worry about it. A fuck buddy is great but yes, you never know who the other person is having sex with. So safe sex is very important.

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  14. All I can say is that as soon as I read his absurd comment “…especially if you start coming from the dick” I realised you are dealing with an absolute beginner, and probably a porn-fucked one at that! Really? From the dick? Is he fucking serious? The data says that at least 85% of women do NOT come from penetration only. The other small portion come from a combination of penetration and clitoral stimulation. (And most of us come from clitoral stimulation – oral or manual – and penetration is the dessert, not the main course). I am so sick of men who expect us to come at the sight of their dicks, and so irritated at the ignorance of female sexuality. FFS people – get a copy of the 1975 book THE HITE REPORT and read it! And thanks for visiting my blog – I plan to read through yours 🙂

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    1. lol…. right! I’ve told him that many times that I really don’t cum from penetration and when I do cum during penetration, it’s because my clit is being stimulated just right. Thanks for following and the comment! I’m definitely looking forward to reading more of your work too! 🙂

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  15. What morons like that need to hear is that it’s NORMAL and we are not freaks. Shere Hite says a lot about the politics of the propaganda of penetrative sex as the only thing needed by women, which started in the 19th Century and is also heavily based on controlling women’s sexuality and keeping it tied to procreation. I recently bought her 1975 book online and have learnt so much, though I thought I was pretty well informed!

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    1. Agreed. Most guys really need a lesson on the female anatomy forget the lessons learned through porn. Further, sex isn’t over once the guy ejaculates. That’s always been an annoying thing I’ve encountered with guys; so many times a guy will cum and leave me unfulfilled.

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      1. You so need to read Shere Hite’s book! It has real life interviews (anonymous and via mail) with thousands of women who detail every aspect of their sex lives. I have read this over and over again, and also how few men are willing to allow a woman to multiple orgasm or go on having orgasms, because they can only have one! And usually after that, they lose interest anyway.

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      2. Interesting. Why does Tinder Jon choose to be exclusive if he knows you’re not? And agreed, totally seems like if both parties are exclusive, you’re technically in a relationship.

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      3. He’s done the Tinder carousel and he’s bored with it. He’s quite happy with one at a time these days. It’s an arrangement not a relationship. So we fuck, we hang out at his, once maybe twice a week depending on how busy we are. It’s not a rule, just a place where he is at the moment I guess. We discussed it all before we met and it all seemed okay so we’ll see how things progress. I’m all for open discussion and I realise things can change at any time.

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      4. Clear communication on where you stand is definitely important in a fwb situation. Seems like you’ve got that figured out and it works well for you. 🙂

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      6. Glad he’s working well for you! And yes, very lucky. There’s so many shitty guys in online dating, hopefully you don’t have to deal with too many of them.

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  17. Just found this at the right moment. Had a similar conversation with a guy I am dating. We aren’t in a relationship but we are having regular sex when we see each other (we don’t live in the same city, and my career takes up a lot of my time). Thing is, he is ready for a relationship, I am not, so I guess we just evolved into being fuck buddies, but he wants condomless sex. But like you, I’ll only do that in an exclusive relationship where I can trust they aren’t having condomless sex with others. So… He asking for us to be exclusive sex buddies, but I think it’s basically a relationship without the emotional dramas. Or his way if getting me into a relationship. I’m super confused right now.

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    1. Definitely a tough and confusing situation. Go with your gut. If you don’t want a relationship, communicate that. If you don’t feel comfortable having condomless sex without being in a monogamous relationship, he should be understanding of that. As for exclusive fuck Buddies, I personally don’t believe it’s a thing. However, communication is key. Maybe you don’t want to call it exclusive fwb, thats borderline relationship. Talk with him about your thoughts and concerns to make sure you’re on the same page.

      Another thing you could do, if you trust him, ask him to get STI tested with you. You two can be condomless if you agree to get tested regularly and promise to use condoms with anyone else you sleep with. I personally haven’t done this, but it’s something that works for couples in open and poly relationships, however this will only work with proper communication and trust.

      Good luck! I hope it works out. It’s definitely a tricky situation.

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  19. I’ve been im this exact situation and my fuck buddy and I have been together for over a year now. He was having a hard time with condoms and the irritation he work get and I am not a fan of condoms so we talked it out. He of course brought up being worried about not using condoms and everytime he religiously had the condom on before anything or he had like 3 on him so hes definetly always prepared. And we agreed to have protected sex with others but be exclusive in a sexual nature. I don’t have the time for a relationship and I am not ready so we just fill in the gaps on our schedules that we might be missing and he mainly is with me but I’m in school and he’s a man. The mandatory rule is that if he does have sex with another women without a condom then he needs to get tested and I will get tested. It’s easier to end this type of relationship and I just don’t have to worry about his feelings or remember anything. We are eachothers escape and thats enough for me. When its the end of this fuck buddy relationship then its the end. It is cold but I know there are worse types of relatiomships out there. It is unique and sometimes though I can’t find out any advice so that is the downside.

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    1. Being in a fwb/fuck buddy situation definitely has it’s benefits. Trust is always important, especially when talking about condom use. Good thing you’ve got that going and it seems like you two are communicative. And fwb does have its challenges too, but as long as you two knows what works for you two, you set your own rules, limits, and expectations of each other which definitely does separate it from conventional relationships…. but seems like you’ve got that down. Is there anything you need advice on in particular? Maybe I can give you my 2 cents from my experiences.

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