A a little over a month ago, my roommates’ band had a show. I try to go to every show I can, so my friend Jackie and I rushed there after dinner with another friend who was visiting from out of town. When we arrived, I told the door guy I didn’t have any cash for the cover but I would go to the ATM as soon as their band was over because they are my roommates and I absolutely needed to see them. He took my word and let me in. We made it to my roommates’ band’s last two songs, but regardless, we made it.
After their set, I asked one of my roommates to spot me $5 so I didn’t have to go down the street to get cash. He gave me a five and right as I got to the front door to pay the cover, Chase walked in. I haven’t seen him in almost a month and I gave up on him since his “Hopefully…” disappearing act. It was kind of awkward at first. I said hi and gave him a hug. Him and his friend Myles came and hung out with Jackie and I for several minutes to make small talk. Chase was kind of quiet, which is unusual for him. It was basically a conversation with the three of us (Jackie, Myles, and myself) with Chase on the sideline. The next band started. We kind of split up at that point.
The night continues, in between each band, most of the crowd would go to the back porch to cool off. When you’re in a space with 100 people on a hot summer night, fresh air is definitely necessary. Well while outside, my friends and I sat near the window, not long after we sat, Chase and Myles came out. They stood about 5 feet in front of us, but faced away from us. As my friends and I were talking, Chase kept turning towards me to make a funny face and I would make one back… This is something we would do when we were still consistently seeing each other.
The next band started. Everyone filed back to the stage. Once this band ended, everyone went back outside. It was already midnight and I had work the next morning. I said my goodbyes to my roommates and friends. As I hugged everyone, there was an instance I caught Chase looking my way. To not make things awkward, I went over and told him I had to head out, but we should hang out sometime soon and gave him a hug…. but his tone of voice when he said “Ok, bye” made it seem like he wanted absolutely nothing to do with me anymore and I was fine with that.
A few nights later, I got a 2am text. It was Chase asking if I was awake.
He came over. We fucked, but the sex was missing something. We both really weren’t into it anymore and it was apparent because of the lack of enthusiasm either of us had while fucking. I don’t even think either of us came that night. I haven’t seen or talked to Chase since. I’m sure I will run into him again at some show somewhere down the line being that he’s a musician. I don’t think I care anymore though.
That’s the thing, with Chase, we never really discussed what either of us were expecting. At first it seemed like it was headed towards a relationship, then when I came back from NYC he seemed more casual, but then things got weird because he got all in his head and disappeared.
Navigating sex and romance can be like going on a road trip with no map. You might have a destination in mind, but with pit stops, bumps, and sometimes wrong turns, you might not get there. If you have the right mindset, though, you can still make the trip fun along the way.