Phone Date Jitters

I redownloaded Tinder July 7 and deleted it less than a week later on July 12. I had it for a few weeks last fall, and a couple days when I was in NYC in June. I may or may not download it again down the line, we’ll see. For now, there are still a few guys I gave my number to, but I’ve been out of town since last Friday.

One guy I have yet to meet, but am fairly excited about is Suburbia. I try to avoid any guys that live in the suburbs. It’s a pain in the ass enough to date someone on the opposite side of the city, let alone outside of the city. It’s basically long distance. But he’s been super sweet and is extremely cute.

Although I haven’t met him yet, I wanted to write about him already because he is treading foreign territory; he called me last night and we talked on the phone for nearly 4 hours. Who does that anymore? I mean, even after I start dating someone, it’s rare that I talk to them on the phone outside of making plans.


When he originally asked to call a few nights ago, it was bad timing. But last night, when he asked, I agreed, he then told me he would call when he got home from his friend’s house. There it was, a phone date planned. Although it wasn’t a real date, I was nervous, probably more so than usual for an actual date. I felt like a giddy school girl waiting for her crush to call. I wasn’t sure what to expect because we’ve never met and although we’ve been texting the entire week, we still didn’t know much about one another.

Once he called me, my nerves were at ease. He was just as sweet over the phone as he’s been via text. Sometimes phone conversations are awkward and if neither person has anything to talk about, why keep talking? With Suburbia, this wasn’t the case. The conversation flowed naturally and I completely lost track of time. Even when it approached 2am, he told me I could go to sleep if I needed, but I declined and we kept talking for another hour. If it wasn’t 3am or if I didn’t need to wake up at 8am, I’m sure we could have kept talking.

With online dating, social media, and texting, is a long phone conversation an extinct art? I’m glad he wanted to talk on the phone. It was definitely a refreshing twist to online dating. I still have to meet him in person, hopefully he can live up to the high bar he has set for himself.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus


About a week ago, I posted We’ll see…, which was prompted by a text conversation I had that day with Chase inviting him to a party that Friday. Friday night came, and I still haven’t heard from Chase to see if he was definitely coming or what time to expect him at. I had a gut feeling he wasn’t coming, but I texted to confirm at around 11pm. He responded a couple minutes later with the dreaded message that he wasn’t going to make it.

I was already mentally prepared for this, I had a feeling he’s been slipping. As much as I wanted to tell him to fuck off, I decided to keep calm, so I sent him a light text saying “For sure. Another time ;)” I then went on with my night, hung out with friends, and enjoyed the party without Chase.

Last night I was supposed to hang out with one of the Tinder boys at 9pm, but he texted saying he had to stay late at work and wouldn’t get out of work until 10:30pm instead of 8pm. I told him that would be too late, so we postponed. As soon as those plans fell through, I had an evening free. I should have done something productive, like clean my room or write a blog post, but instead I texted Chase.

He said he was at work until 8pm, then playing basketball, but maybe after. And there was that word again, “maybe.” He’s always a “maybe” or “we’ll see.” I told him to text me when he’s done playing basketball. At around 10pm, he texted asking if I was still free. I told him yes. A few minutes later, he texted that he was out front, meaning he was already on his was when he texted to see if I was free. He came up, I made us drinks, we chatted a bit… Everything seemed totally fine. That is, until we went to my bedroom.

We kissed a bit, but I could tell something was off. He is usually very sexual and rubbing all over me, but last night he was going through the motions and hardly doing anything. We stopped and I asked him what was up. He said he wasn’t feeling well. I asked if I could get him anything. Then he explained that he didn’t feel sick, but he had something on his mind. I tried to get him to tell me, but he said he didn’t want to talk about it.

I was getting frustrated because I haven’t seen him in almost two weeks and on the day we hang out, he’s being extra distant. Then because I was getting frustrated, he was getting frustrated. The whole thing escalated and he ended up leaving. We didn’t really fight, per say, but there was definitely tension and I called him out for being a dick.

I texted him not long after he left.


“Hopefully.” That was all he had to say in response. I don’t think I will hear from Chase again. I don’t know that I want to. As great as he seemed at the start, he showed how much of a downer he can be over the past 2 months. One thing that stood out to me when we were talking, before we had the argument even, was that he claims that he has a habit of self sabotage. Just like he admitted to being aware that he is an asshole before (see Spiralled Emotions), he is also aware that he is self sabotaging. Both seem at least partially intentional and he could probably stop if he wasn’t stubborn. Chase is extremely intelligent, charming, and very handsome. I really do hope he can get past his front of being a self sabotaging asshole, even if it’s not in time for me.


Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

Tinder Dick

I did a thing… I redownloaded tinder last Thursday and I already have a few stories for you. First, I will start off with Tinder Dick. After talking briefly with the generic “What’s up?” “What do you do for fun?” he changes the conversation drastically and asks, “So are you a naughty girl???”

I was about to write him off, but before I could send him a fuck you, he started sexting me. I went along. I messaged with him and told him all my kinks, sexted a bit, and took out my vibrator. He was getting me wet, so why not?

Well, at the end I thanked him for getting me off and told him we’d never fuck. #wastehistime2016


Moral of the story for the boys reading this, please stop sending messages like “DTF,” “Are you naughty?,” “I’d like to cum on your face,” and anything related to fucking before you even try to get to know the woman in question. A real man has class and will take a lady out before seeing her naughty side.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

We’ll see…

Since returning from NYC, I have seen Chase three times in a month. The pace has slowed down drastically. Before NYC, I saw him three times in a week and a half. I have a feeling it’s coming to an end. He seems more distant and not as responsive when we’re texting, however, this could just be a blip. The past month he’s been stressed trying to find a new apartment and almost didn’t get one on time so he was a bit preoccupied, which I completely understand.

I’ve been the one to initiate texting the past couple weeks, we’ve hung out some, but I can’t get a read on him. Like is his distance stress related or loss of interest related. So now I’m backing off and giving him space. If he’s still interested he will come around. I can’t waste my time trying if he’s not reciprocating. I will give it another two weeks before I completely write him off and if he texts me after that, we’ll see how I feel.

I think the main reason I feel the need to vent right now is because Chase does exactly what I hate when trying to make plans. He doesn’t give definitive answers. I will invite him to see a show or to a party and he will tell me something like “I have work, but we’ll see.” Generally, I read a “we’ll see” as a no, but he’s been a bit different. So far, it’s been fine; he will say “we’ll see” and then he usually comes through. He’s never not shown up when he says “maybe” or “we’ll see” and he follows up the day of if anything changes like if he’s running late.


I guess he’s an exception to the rule? But really, if I hear a “we’ll see” when a guy means no, I would rather hear a no. How difficult is it to be honest and give a yes or no? Or if you’re busy, just tell me that at the moment you’re busy moving or whatever is going on in your life and that you will contact me sometime next week or whenever it’s a better time and then actually follow through. Or if you’re no longer interested, instead of dragging shit out, just be an adult and say that you’re not interested. There is so much time wasted in dating by people that can’t clearly communicate what’s going on in their lives or be honest and tell someone when they lose interest. Fuck the term “We’ll see.” If people communicated better, dating would be easier for everyone.

Rant over. As for Chase, we’ll see….

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

2 Year Singleversary

This past weekend, I celebrated my 2 Year Singleversary. Not that I haven’t casually dated or anything in the past two years, but it marks the end of a six year relationship that was far from healthy to say the least. I will tell you all about that another time.

A week earlier, Shane and I worked a beer booth together at a festival. Afterwards, he walked me home. We discussed what was going on in our lives and I excitedly told him I was about to celebrate my 2 Year Singleversary. Confused, he didn’t understand why someone would celebrate such a thing. I tried to explain it to him, but it still didn’t get through his thick skull. He basically wrote it off and said I could celebrate being single any day so an anniversary is pointless. Nothing really further to report about this interaction. I was exhausted and he had other plans so I went to bed and he went out.

What I tried to explain to him, though, that he didn’t understand is that this day marks the end of my six year relationship and this is the day that changed me for the better. I grew more confident and independent. I am in a much better place now and I am grateful for this, and that is why my Singleversary is so important.

For my Singleversary, a couple friends and I started the evening with dinner then picked up a few bottles of wine and went to my place to paint our nails and pre game to go dancing in Boystown. It was a night for my girls, my gay boyfriends and I to go out and celebrate my single hood.


While dolling up and pre gaming, my roommate Sawyer sat at the kitchen table and joined in on our gossip. Although the night was meant for my gals and my gays, I was ok with him hanging out. I told him if he wanted to play along, he could be gay for my Singleversary and come dance the night away with us. After some convincing, he agreed to come with. He put on some tight jeans and a tight shirt so he could look extra good for the boys.

When we finished painting our nails and drinking our wine, we herded our way to Progress in Boystown. My boys Justin and Carl walked off, I’m unsure where, but the girls, Sawyer, and I got our dance on. Us ladies were doing our thing and Sawyer fell off to the side a little. He was left wide open, fresh meat for the boys to pounce on.

The first guy who attacked went in with full force from behind. With no eye contact or permission, he grabbed Sawyers hips, pulled them towards his crotch and started grinding hard against him. Ana mouthed to Sawyer asking if he needed help. He then mouthed that he had it under control, which he didn’t. He went to push the guy back, but the guy just pulled in harder. I swooped in, pulled Sawyer away, and threw him in the middle of the girls.

We danced in a circle around Sawyer to protect him from the hungry predators. From one side, a short black guy in a blue shirt tried to squeeze in. He was quickly blocked by us girls, but he kept trying. He saw that the only way in was through us, so he started to dance with Liz. He tried to pull her away, danced with her for a moment, and tried to create an opening to get in with Sawyer. He failed, Liz quickly caught on and refilled her spot in the circle.

From the other side of the circle, a super tall tan guy in a red shirt kept staring at Sawyer. He approached the circle and glared thinking Sawyer would come to him. Nothing. Sawyer turned away. The guy then walked to the other side of the circle to try to get Sawyer’s attention again. Still nothing. Sawyer turned again. This process kept repeating for a good two or three songs.

There were literally guys coming at him from all sides. To get away, Sawyer leaned in to me and said, “Hey, I think I need a drink.”

I asked, “Do you need backup?”

“Yes please,” he accepted.

He then walked to the bar, I followed closely. When he approached, I put my arm around him, and half leaned my body against his. There was no way a guy could penetrate him without going through me first. There were still guys eying him, but he was safe under my protection. Sawyer asked what I wanted to drink on him as a toast to my Singleversary.


We got our drinks, made our way back to the girls, danced a bit more, then decided to move our way to the back of the bar. Here, we continued to dance and soon, my friends Ricky and Chris showed up. Ricky, my fabulous gay hubby instantly made an entire back story for him and Sawyer. Supposedly they have been dating for seven years and Ricky is extremely jealous and will cut a bitch if they try to take his man.

The night went on. We danced some more. Made our way to a few more bars and ended the night all catching Lyfts home. The next day, Sawyer told me that going to Boystown was a big eye opener to him; he now understands how straight guys treat women at clubs and apologizes for their behavior.

Happy 2 Year Singleversary to me!

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

The Tale of Pigeon Bitch

While in NYC about a month ago, I thought I would Tinder/OKC my way through and meet up with a few guys. Well, there were a lot of guys trying to get me to go out, but it never quite aligned for most of them, plus I ended up busier than expected and wanted to spend more time with my friend Ana, who I helped move there.

My profiles were simple. I reopened my old OKC account, updated the photos, deleted all the text, all the questions I answered in the past were still applied, so no need to reanswer questions. Then, I redownloaded Tinder and uploaded new photos. In both OKC and Tinder, I wrote “Chicago artist and curator visiting NYC for the first time. If you were to take me on a NYC date, where/what would it be?” I filled in OKC a little more, but kept it very simple.

I had floods of matches and messages. Most of the guys saw the fact that I was visiting and took it as an invite to just fuck me, so most openers were something along the lines of, “Come to my place and I will show you a side of NYC you wouldn’t see anywhere else.” Past all the DTF openers, there were quite a few guys who invited me to dinner, drinks, a picnic in Central Park, dancing, art museums, music, etc.

After all the conversations and people trying to tell me what they would do with me on a NYC date, I narrowed it down to one guy to meet from Tinder my friends and I now call Pigeon Bitch.  That’s right, Pigeon Bitch got his nickname because his opening line was “How do you feel about grooming and feeding the NYC pigeons?” That, plus he had a picture of him chasing pigeons and another photo of him with a pigeon shirt. All weird, but the conversation was hilarious and he seemed sweet. Not only did he have a sense of humor, but he’s muscular, dark, with a great smile.


We did not go to groom and feed the pigeons. I know, I was disappointed too! He even took the pigeon joke a step further to invite me to a pigeon light show, which was actually a thing going on in Brooklyn that weekend, but none of the days/times worked. After a while of talking, he sent me several ideas to choose from. He was very adamant about making me love NYC because I told him my friend is trying to convince me to move there and he might need to help her with that. He took that as a challenge.

We agreed to see some Jazz in Manhattan and to meet up an hour before the show at a nearby bar at 8pm. My friend Ana and I had plans early that evening, so it worked out perfectly. Ana and I went to a bar and then grabbed some food with a friend of hers named James, then the three of us walked to the bar I was meeting up with Pigeon Bitch. We got to the bar just before 8pm, and were debating if we should all sit at the booth and have it be the four of us for a round, or if I should go sit up at the bar. Ana came up with a fucking fantastic idea, I was to sit at the bar and after Pigeon Bitch arrives, James and her would send us over drinks and be flirty and pretend to be swingers trying to fight for our attention. I laughed and agreed, so went to sit by the bar.

I sat at the bar, ordered a drink, and waited for Pigeon Bitch. He texted saying he was running late, but would be there by 8:10. He arrived ordered a drink, and then we did some basic introductions. I realized I didn’t do much questioning when we were just chatting. I didn’t know anything about him aside from the banter about pigeons. I learned he got his muscular build because he is a personal trainer, does crossfit competitively, and is the assistant tennis coach for an after school program. He’s lived in NYC his whole life minus when he went away to college for environmental science.

Once we finished our first round of drinks, I was expecting drinks to be sent over from Ana and James, but then Pigeon Bitch looked at the time and said we should start walking to the Jazz place. We closed up, and left. When we got to the Jazz place, I had 10 texts from Ana asking how the date was going and saying sorry because she didn’t get the drinks in on time for our prank. I told her it was ok and I would text her later.

The hostess took us to our seats, which were at this super tiny table at a half booth, I sat on the booth side and Pigeon Bitch had the seat across from me. He then decided even though there were people on either side of us, he would squeeze onto the booth side next to me to be closer. We ordered some food and a round of drinks, talked a bit more, and waited for the music to start.

As we sat there, I got another slew of texts from Ana. I knew she was worried about me because I was on a Tinder date in a city I’m not familiar with, so I opened the texts to see a gif of Colbert doing a vigorous finger banging motion with his hands. Being that we were in tight corridors, Pigeon Bitch saw it and we both laughed.


This instantly changed the pace of things. We went from casually talking and just sitting next to one another, to Pigeon Bitch rubbing his hand on my knee and got a bit more touchy. I knew it was because of the gif he now thinks he has a good chance in getting laid (which I’m not gonna lie, I already was planning on fucking him). I thought it was funny how his body language drastically shifted once sex was on the table.

As the music started and the food was delivered, he continued the sexual tension by playing footsie with me until we were done eating. Once we finished, he put an arm around me and rubbed my leg with his other hand. The band came to a brief break, this was his opening to kiss me and he took it without hesitation. His full lips locked into mine, and he sucked on my upper lip as I took his lower. We then made out briefly, his technique is very comparable to my own. Some light tongue with a blend of lip suction. I’m not a fan of excessive tongue. Pigeon Bitch’s kisses were definitely enjoyable.

A few drinks later, the Jazz wrapped up. We decided the adventure wasn’t over, so we went to go play ping-pong, but the place he wanted to go to was closed. We then settled to go to a bar with a pool table back in Brooklyn. He guided us from one train to the next to get to our destination. On every train platform and on the ride there, we made out some and chatted, and made out some more. The night was still young and the sexual tension was heating up.

While on one of the train platforms, our discussion escalated. He began asking about what I like during sex. I was honest, explained that I like being submissive; I love being cuffed/tied up, teased, playing with toys, and nipple clamps (also nipple biting/pinching). His jaw dropped, he wasn’t expecting that. He then explained that he’s done some kinky stuff, but really only light choking and some smacking around, but he’s never tied anyone up or used toys. He then added that he was excited to have some fun with me because there are some things he always wanted to try.

All this talk about sex, I was almost willing to just skip playing pool and go back to his place, but at the same time, I still wanted to see more of New York. When we got off the subway, we walked a few blocks to get to the bar. He told me we were in his neighborhood. It was a quiet, tree-lined area, with rows of brownstones; very residential. I was impressed and asked how he could afford to live in such an area. And that is when he revealed he was living at home with his parents! Usually that’s a deal breaker, but he’s a one night fling, so does it really matter?

I made fun of him for living at home still. He then told me that he lives on the lower level and he has a separate entrance so it’s very private. He also added that the main reason he’s living at home is because he’s saving to buy a place. He’s 28 and would like to own a place in Brooklyn by the time he’s 30, so I guess that’s a little more acceptable. Right?

When we got to the bar, we walked straight to the back to see if the pool table was open. There were a few people playing and someone already had dibs. Pigeon Bitch went to ask the bartender for quarters, I intervened and pulled out quarters from my purse, went up to the pool table, and called next game. When the bartender finally got to Pigeon Bitch, because quarters were already resolved, he asked what I wanted to drink. I ordered a Jameson Mule. I’m now several drinks in and feeling a little tipsy, but when the drinks are free, keep them coming.

As the guys on the pool table finished their next two games, the table opened up and Pigeon Bitch and I took over. He racked, I broke. My break was fine, but my game was all down hill from there. We were playing calls, which I am usually pretty good with, but every shot I took ended up being a lucky slop so it kept going back to Pigeon Bitch. I had a few too many drinks for my game to be on point. It was a close game, I only had a ball or two left when he was down to the 8 ball. In the end, I won because he scratched on the 8 ball. Just my luck.

The Jameson was really kicking in. He asked if I wanted another drink, I declined. If I was going to fuck him, I needed to sober up a little, so I told him I was hungry and he should show me why NY pizza is supposedly better than Chicago pizza. He laughed and agreed. We called a Lyft and made our way to Artichoke for some slices. The pizza was decent, extra greasy, tasty, but couldn’t compare to Chicago style pizza. My tipsiness subsided to a good buzz. I was ready to bring the NY adventure off the streets and to his bedroom.


We caught another Lyft and went to his place. On the way, I continued to poke fun at him for living with his parents, but he took it like a champ and brushed it off. When we got to his place, we went through the back and down through the lower garden stairs. His room was secluded, so I felt a little at ease. His room was fairly big, especially for New York. There was a queen bed, a couch, TV, desk, and large closet. All it was missing was a bathroom and kitchen and it could have been a decent studio apartment.

While he turned on some music, I sat on his bed waiting patiently. He sat next to me and went in to kiss me. It quickly escalated. The night had been filled with making out and discussing our kinks so the tension was ready to burst. It took mere seconds to go from kissing to being stripped down to nothing. He kissed all over my body and worked some magic with his fingers on my clit. We have been discussing our kinks all night, so it was pretty much all action by the time we were naked.

Once I was worked up from the clit finger tease, he got up and found some rope he had. He kind of hesitated, I told him to tie my hands above my head to the headboard. I think he secretly wanted to be tied up himself, he seemed a bit disappointed that the rope was for me, but he went with it. He tied me in such a way that the rope could still spin so I could be face up or face down, allowing a little more freedom in the positions while still be restrained.

He started off slow. Kissed me gently on the lips then down my neck while reaching a hand down to my clit. As his mouth approached my breasts, he circled my nipples with his tongue. I squirmed a bit, I pushed my hips up, thrusting towards his hand and cock. He then stopped me by pinning my legs with his knees on my thighs. His licking soon turned into sucking which quickly changed to biting my nipples.

Once he got me nice and wet, he reached to grab a condom from the bedside nightstand and put it on. He rubbed his tip on my clit and down to my vagina slightly sticking in just the tip, then sliding it back up to my clit. He did this several times as I lifted my hips up towards him. He eventually thrusted in hard and deep, held it there, kissed me, then with subtle circular thrusts he fucked me for a few minutes. He then flipped me over, had me bent over doggy style. While he fucked me, he rubbed my clit with one hand and spanked me with the other. It was fucking hot. He came. I didn’t, but I was extremely close. He told me he wasn’t done with me yet.


I was still tied up. He took off the condom, went to the bathroom, and then came back to tend to my needs. He went straight into biting my nipples while playing with my clit. I rarely cum from a guys fingers, but something he was doing was working. I kept telling him not to stop, keep doing exactly what he’s doing. He listened and a couple minutes later I was enjoying a manually stimulated orgasm from a guy I just met several hours earlier. That was a very pleasant surprise.

He untied me and grabbed me some water. After I took a few sips, I went to kiss him and grabbed his dick. He was rock hard and ready to go again. I asked him what he wanted. He surprised me yet again; he told me to step on him. I’ve never stepped on a guy, but there’s always a first. I agreed. Before doing so, I asked what exactly he wanted, he explained to step on his chest, and lightly step on his neck, and rub my foot on his dick and balls without stepping on them. It was obvious he has done this before, he knew exactly what and how he wanted it, but it wasn’t something he brought up earlier in the night so it threw me off guard.

He had high ceilings, so it was easy enough to just stay on the bed. I stood on his chest, teased him a bit by rubbing my feet up and down his abs, then while one foot stayed on his chest, I placed the other foot on his neck and lightly pressed down choking him a little. While I did this, he stroked his cock with his hand. He was really into it, having a naked chick stand on him while he jerked off. He even asked if me stepping on him was punishment for him losing the pool game. I told him yes and that he’s been a bad boy. This got him more worked up. I then released his neck and ran that foot down his abs to intervene with his masturbation, rubbing my foot along his dick and balls as he asked, then lightly pressed his dick up against his pelvic bone. While standing on him, I started to lose my balance a little, so my foot that was playing with his cock needed to be grounded a bit to catch myself. During this small slip,  He pulled me down and jerked off for a few seconds until he came all over my tits.

He got up, grabbed us some wipes, we cleaned up, and fell asleep. He spooned me the whole night, which is always a nice feeling and even nicer when you get woken up to a throbbing cock pushing up against you while having your clit lightly rubbed. I always love being woken up to morning sex.

He grabbed a condom. I told him to sit on the couch. He listened. I was still in control from stepping on him the night before. He was way more submissive than I usually like, but I played along. I straddled him, not taking him in yet. I kissed him, then lightly bit his neck, kissed down his chest as I played with his dick. He quickly unwrapped the condom, and I grabbed in from him, sliding it down his cock, then played some more, teasing him a bit by running his tip across my lower lips. He kept trying to grab hold of his dick to get inside me, I kept pushing his hands away not allowing it. Once he stopped fighting it, I inserted just the tip and lightly took it in and out of me, then slowly took him in deeper and deeper gradually. Once I finally took him in to his base, I picked up the speed and fucked him. He came. I didn’t.

I got up, grabbed some water while he took off the condom and went to the bathroom. I laid on his bed, exhausted from only sleeping about four hours, I started to drift a little. He came back and laid next to me, kissed me gently and started to work his magic with his fingers. As good as it felt, I wasn’t going to cum, I was spent. I grabbed his hand to stop him and we laid there cuddling in silence for several minutes and drifted into a  nap.


We woke up to his alarm about an hour later. He invited me to take a shower with him. Although he had a bathroom across the hall from his bedroom, the washer and dryer was also next to his room. He heard his mom doing laundry, so before I could walk out to take a shower with him, he told me to wait so he could check to see if she was there. I laughed, after a night of fucking, I was pulled back into reality. He was a 28-year-old guy living in the garden level of his parents place.

We showered, got dressed, and went our separate ways. Since that night, Pigeon Bitch has texted from time to time, he’s always the one to initiate. I know there’s no way we could ever actually date even if I lived in NYC, but I guess if I’m ever visiting NYC or if he was ever in Chicago, he’s a nice option to fuck.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus