Red Flags Equal Fun

Brace yourself, this is a long post, but there are juicy details, I promise. ūüėČ

It has been almost a month¬†since I declared my boy break and I was doing so good… that is until a couple days ago.

I was bartending Sunday afternoon. Usual touristy downtown Chicago wealthy crowd. A tall, tan, blonde, muscular guy walks in wearing a tight gray t-shirt, a rolex, and some nice shades. He sits at the opposite end of the bar from me, so my coworker took his order. As he takes off his shades, he looks right at me and we made eye contact for several seconds. His piercing blue eyes and his kind smile are what drew me to him.

He stayed put on that side of the bar, I could have gone over to check on him, but I decided not to. It was almost 3:30pm, my shift was about to end, I was closing up tabs, I had plans at 5:00pm, I had no time to chit-chat. I wrapped up and as I left, gave him one more look as I walked past him.

When I got out of the bar, I stopped right out front for a minute to find my car key. While I was searching my purse he walked out. As I heard the door behind me, I knew it was him. I didn’t turn around, I found my key, then paused. He then said, “Hey, I’m Ryan.”

“I’m Kallie.” I responded as I turned around.

“Do you know where there’s an open head¬†shop near by? I have all this bud but nothing to smoke it out of.” Ryan asked.

I laughed, “You’re in the wrong part of the city to buy a piece.”

“Where do I need to go?”

“There’s like five head shops all in a row on Clark and Belmont. It’s on my way home, I could drop you off if you’d like.”

He agreed and thanked me for the generous offer. I didn’t know anything about him, but there was something about him that lured me in and I wanted to figure it out. During the 15 minute ride to Lakeview, we did the usual introductions; I found out he’s from Tampa, he’s in Chicago for business but has been here almost all month and is probably going to be here frequently moving forward, he is 33 years old, he is an entrepreneur and is starting a new business venture. Although he was nice, funny, tall and had the muscular build I usually fall for, he was cocky and very much into himself. The majority of our discussion lead back to how much money he makes and he even brought up all the women that fall for him.

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Aside from his overall friendliness, everything about our conversation were big red flags, but I liked that. As we were talking, I was thinking about ripping his clothes off, but I could tell that there is no way he could be more than a good lay.

Right before we got to the head shop, he realized his friend lived near by so he asked if I could give him a ride. I agreed. We went in, he purchased a piece then we left. When I took him to his friend’s place, he asked if I wanted to come in to smoke a bowl and chill for a bit. I explained I couldn’t because I have dinner plans with friends at 5pm. He asked for my number so we can hang out later, I hesitated because of all the red flags. He then persisted, “I think you’re cool, you should show me around the city when you’re free.” I then agreed and put my number in his phone.

I drove home and went to get ready to go to my friend’s for dinner. It wasn’t even 30 minutes after I left Ryan and he called me asking when I could come hang out with him at his hotel. I told him I couldn’t that evening because I had plans. He said I could bring my friends, but that wasn’t going to happen. I laughed and explained that¬†my friends wouldn’t want to do that. He then tried to invite himself to hang out with me and my friends. I told him I wouldn’t let that happen because what if he turns out to be a huge douche, my friend’s would hate me for inviting him. He laughed then said he would call me in a few hours to come over to my friend’s when he was done with his meeting.

While I was at my friend’s place, he texted at around 8:30, I ignored his texts until 10pm when I was headed out from my friend’s place. I texted and told him I was about to leave, but I had to give a friend a ride home. He told me he wasn’t in a hurry and had all night. He gave me an address and told me to come pick him up so we could finally smoke. I agreed.

I picked him up from a house on the south side and when I arrived, I asked what he wanted to do. He told me to show him the city, but first we need to go somewhere and smoke a bowl. So I wasn’t smoking and drinking and driving, I told him I had¬†to go to my apartment and park my car. On our way there, we stopped at his hotel so he could drop off his bag. When we arrived to his hotel, he warned me that he has a three year old son that wasn’t at the hotel at the moment, but there are toys around. Another red flag. We went up, he changed quickly, then we went to my place, parked my car, then went up to pack a bowl and I made us each a whiskey coke. I took him up¬†to my roof to show him¬†the view. He tried putting his arm around me, I turned and rejected his advance. It was too early in the night and I was still contemplating what I felt about the situation.

After we finished our drinks, he ordered a Lyft and I took him to Wicker Park so we could do some bar hopping. It was a Sunday night, so not much going on, but we still made our rounds. At the last bar we stopped at, he made friends with a guy that goes by Tank out front. They got talking, I went in and had a drink and hung out with some people I knew. About 30 minutes went by and he still didn’t come in, so I went back out. Ryan then asked if I wanted to get out of here, I agreed. Ryan called a Lyft and Ryan, Tank, and I got in the car and went to Tank’s place to grab something before we went to Ryan’s hotel. On our way to Tank’s, we drove past an adult book store. Ryan put his hand on my leg, leaned over and whispered to me to point it out. I laughed, but thought nothing of it.

Once we left Tank’s, all three of us went to Ryan’s hotel and poured ourselves some drinks and smoked another bowl. Ryan took some adderall and offered some to Tank and I. Tank took one and I declined. Another red flag.

The boys wanted to roll a blunt, so we walked over to 711. Tank kept trying to put his arm around me and tried getting in my face because I wasn’t talking to him. He was obviously fucked up and I could hardly understand a word coming out of his mouth. The boys agreed that we should smoke the blunt at Tank’s, but Ryan had to stop by his hotel to grab his weed. When we walked back to Ryan’s hotel, Tank stayed downstairs to smoke a cigarette. Ryan and I went up laughing about how fucked up Tank was. When we got up to his hotel, he shuffled around looking for his bud, I sat on his bed and watched. He then sat next to me and said that Tank could wait and he leaned in and kissed me. After making out for a couple minutes, I stopped him and said we should probably tell Tank to leave. He tried to call Tank, but it went to voicemail. We went downstairs to see if he was there, but he wasn’t. Ryan then asked, “Do you want to go check out that adult book store?”

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I agreed. All of these red flags, it was 4am, and I still agreed. This night so far has been an adventure and I didn’t want it to end quite yet, especially now that he wants to have fun with toys, the draw to fuck him has increased exponentially. He called a Lyft and we went to the adult book store. He told me to pick out whatever I’d like and he’d buy it. I grabbed nipple clamps, a rope, and a vibrator. He grabbed a vibrating cock ring and some sort of herbal sex pills. He ordered a Lyft to his hotel. On the way back, he grabbed my hand and put it on his cock. I caressed his crotch and rubbed him gently, teasing him the whole ride.

As soon as we got back to his hotel room, he went in to kiss me. It started off slow. A nice ease into what was to come. He took off his shirt, I then straddled him and we continued to make out as he unclipped my bra. Now topless on top of him, he started to kiss my neck and worked his way to my nipples. He then flipped me over, he sat on my hips, keeping me put while he grabbed the rope from the nightstand. He held both my wrists above my head and started to wrap the rope around them, and tied the rope to the bed frame. As he tied me, I kissed his chest, he told me to stop so he could focus on me.

His natural dominance had me soaking wet. Now that I was restrained, he had absolute control. He kissed me briefly, then pulled back, slowly working his way from my lips, to my neck, down my stomach, then teased me by running his tongue across the top of my jeans and rubbing his hand along the inside of my thighs. I thrusted my hips, squirming from the anticipation. He grabbed the nipple clamps and circled my nipples with them. My whole body now craving more, I tried to lift my head up to kiss him, but he pushed me back down, then finally pinched my nipples tight with the clamps. A quick sting of pain was followed by a burst of ecstasy. He then ran his tongue down my stomach, pulled my jeans off, leaving me in just my red lace panties.

Spreading my legs and holding them to restrain me more, he gently licked along the edges of the lace. He slid his tongue up and down each side multiple times, then with his teeth, he lifted my panties to one side of my soaking wet pussy. He continued to tease me, licking  closer and closer to my inner labia without quite doing so. As the tension continued to build, I kept trying to push my hips up to get him to finally eat me. He kept pushing my hips down.

It wasn’t until I stopped my squirming that he finally went in for his first taste, taking a mouthful of my inner labia, then he ran his tongue between my lower lips, up and down, barely touching my clit every time he licked upward. I tried to move my hips down so my clit would finally get the attention of his tongue, but he lifted his head away from my vagina and looked up at me. No words were said, but I could tell he was demanding me to stay still so he could get back to work. I took his demand and relaxed my hips. He then went back to business, licking up and down, up and down, then he ran¬†his tongue up above my clit, bumping the top ball of my clitoral hood piercing, driving my clit crazy.

He paused, sat up and reached for the vibrator. I was already worked up and he just kept the ultimate tease going. He turned the vibrator on, running it along my clamped nipples, then buried his face back down under, and started to circle my clit with his tongue. My entire body pulsing with sensation, I succumbed to everything he was doing.

He ran the vibrator down from my nipples, and towards my clit working his tongue down to my vagina simultaneously. He kept a good pace, switching from using the vibrator on my clit and in my vagina while licking me simultaneously. After several times of changing it up, my breathing got heavy, my body tensed up, I let out a quiet, “oh my god” as my vagina started to contract, my hips pushed up into his face for a good 30 seconds of pure bliss. As I came down from the orgasm, he pulled his face away, a long string of fluids dripped from his face down to my vagina.

As he unclamped my nipples, he asked, “How was that?”

I smiled and said, “That was fucking amazing. I rarely cum the first time I’m with a guy and you somehow figured out all my hot spots.”

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He kept me tied, then stuck his throbbing hard cock in my mouth and he proceeded to eat me out. I took him in deep, in and out of my mouth, running my tongue over the top of the head of his cock. As he continued to tickle my clit, every lick made me jolt; I was still extremely sensitive from my orgasm. He then pulled his cock out of my mouth, repositioning himself so we were face to face. He kissed me and thrusted his cock inside my soaking vagina. Every thrust he would pull back and pause with just the tip in me. I would try to push my hips up and wrap my legs around him so I would pull him deep inside of me. He kept pushing me down so he could continue to tease me with just the tip of his dick. After a couple minutes of this, he untied me. I was free to do whatever I’d like. I wrapped my arms around him, moving my hips in a circular motion then as he thrusted. He flipped us over. Now on top, I was in charge.

I returned the tease favor, by slowing down, pulling him out, running my fingers along his cock and kissing him, then worked my way down slowly, biting his nipples gently. He rubbed my back with almost a downward motion, trying to get me closer to his penis. I slowly licked down the center of his abs to the base of his cock, flicked the tip with my tongue, but then neglected it and licked along his pelvis towards the base of his shaft, but never quite licking his dick. He tried to grab my hair to control me, to push my head to his dick, I pushed his hands down to his side.

Once he stopped trying to fight me, I ran my tongue from his hips and then lightly tickled his balls with my tongue and slightly took them into my mouth. I then ran my tongue up his shaft and to finally take his dick in my mouth, just the tip to start. Sucking lightly, I licked the rim of his head, running my tongue around it slowly. I looked up at him, I could tell he wanted me to take him all the way in. I paused on his tip, for a few seconds while we made several seconds of intense eye contact. To break this, he pushed his hips up and I proceeded to move my mouth down his shaft, then added my hand in a twisting motion up and down as I blew him, cradling his balls. Up and down, taking him in a little more every time. Finally, I let his dick slide all the way in my mouth, deep throating him, and I held it while running my tongue up and down the back of his dick.

“Don’t make me cum yet!” He said as he stopped me from blowing him. “I still have to fuck you silly.”

He then grabbed the vibrating cock ring and demanded I get on my hands and knees. He stuck his dick in my pussy, I pushed my hips against him,¬†the vibrator tickled my clit with every thrust inward. He kept trying to slow down to prevent himself from cumming, but I insisted he didn’t stop. He then began to thrust harder and harder, until he came.

As he took off the condom, he stated, “Damn! I haven’t fucked like that in years.”

I smiled and kissed him. His phone alarm went off, he looked at the clock and realized it was 8am. We have been going at it for over three hours and he was supposed to be waking up for work at that moment. He turned it off and we passed out until noon.

When we woke up, he showered and got ready as I just laid there. Once he was out of the shower, we both got dressed. I kissed him and said my goodbye. He then said, “I’ll see you around.”

I laughed and said, “I’m not counting on it. You live in Tampa.”

He said, “We’ll figure it out.”

I laughed again and walked out. I will probably never hear from him again, and that’s ok with me. I wasn’t looking for a relationship to form.¬†All those red flags were just green flags to have a single night of fun with a guy I wasn’t ever planning on seeing again.

My take away, a night of casual fun, no strings attached, is now allowed during this break. The break from boys is more of an emotional break than anything else. I still crave sex. I just need to eliminate the time wasted on guys when I get attached emotionally. Tampa boy was a perfect slip up from this break.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

 

EDIT::: I wrote this last night and didn’t post it because I needed to edit it still, but he texted me today wanting to see me again. All the red flags are still there, and he is still not my type based on his ego, but the sex was fucking awesome.¬†We will see what happens.

Fuck the Cum Trees

You know it’s spring when the smell of semen fills the air. Lovers are out and about mingling, birds are chirping, and the terrible jizz scented blossoms of the¬†Callery Pear trees bloom. The smell of sperm is absolutely nauseating and this is coming from a woman that loves sex and gives blow jobs on the regular.

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In fact, I love giving blow jobs. I love oral sex in general. But there is no way in hell I will ever swallow, let alone let a guy cum in my mouth ever again. I will literally vomit. It’s already happened a few too many times. I did my due diligence by trying and it will never happen again. I’m a super taster, I’m not necessarily a picky eater, but there are definitely things that will physically make me queazy and semen is one of them.

I’m not just trying to bitch about the taste of cum. I want to express how important it is to only do things in sex that you are comfortable with. If you don’t like when a guy cums in your mouth or if you don’t like a particular sex act, speak up. Say no. If the guy you are with can’t grasp the word no and keeps pushing the issue, he is obviously an asshole.

If there’s something he wants to try and you are willing to try it, go for it. If at any moment, you become uncomfortable, let him know that you want to stop. Once again, if he¬†wants to keep going or keeps pushing it even when¬†you tell him you want to stop, he’s a fucking asshole.

Only you get to have say on what you do with your body and what you are comfortable with. Don’t let assholes try to change that. Do you.

Fuck the cum trees. They always ruin my love of long walks in the park.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

Cooties: the STI of the Playground

We’ve all been there.¬†We have all¬†been a child and have played hide-and-go-seek or tag or something on the playground with all your friends. Everyone is running around chasing one another, laughing, having a great time. Then there’s a shift in the game. Someone starts telling everyone that so-and-so has cooties. Now hide-and-go-seek¬†becomes a game of¬†avoid-the-cooties. A stigma is attached to cooties when you’re a kid. No one wants to be caught near the kid with¬†cooties to prevent catching it.

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When this started happening, I was baffled. There never seemed to be anything wrong with the people who caught cooties, they just suddenly had it. Confused about cooties, I asked my sisters one day after school. They laughed and told me that cooties weren’t real, just a made up disease kids use avoid the opposite sex.

The next day, when we were all let out for recess, a group of girls and I were on top of this climbing structure of the jungle gym gossiping about who had cooties. I thought this was absolutely ridiculous, especially after my sisters told me cooties were fake. I told the girls, “Cooties aren’t even real!”

One of them replied, “Yes they are! Have you seen Nathan lately? He’s covered in cooties!”

Aggravated, I climbed down and went to find Nathan. He was playing in the sandbox alone. As I approached, he said, “You might not want to get close to me, I have the cooties.”

I then told him, “It’s fine. Cooties aren’t even real. My sisters told me.”

He then said, “Are you sure?

I replied, “Even if they are real, you look fine to me.” Then an awesome idea came to mind and I then added, “Want to give everyone cooties? Tag me, then you and I can go chase everyone and spread our cooties to everyone.”

And that’s exactly what we did. At first, people were grossed out because we infected them, but soon enough, everyone was running around screaming and laughing. We eventually all had cooties. We all survived to tell the story.

Fast forward to adulthood, moral of the story…

I’m not trying to tell you to that if you or someone you knows has an STI you should contract it and try to spread it so everyone has it. That would be wrong. What I am trying to say is perhaps you should consider others’ feelings before telling everyone that someone has an STI. That is their private business. They don’t need the stigma to follow them everywhere they go. That, plus a lot of STIs are curable, and the ones that aren’t, many are still manageable.

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If you’re sexually active, especially if you’re not in a monogamous relationship, get tested regularly and use protection y’all.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

Stop Acting and Start Reacting

“Are you a moaner or a screamer?” This is a questions I have heard from multiple guys, but why do I have to be one or the other? In fact, why is moaning or screaming a necessary indicator of the female orgasm?

I was thinking about this the other day because a roommate of mine has a chick he’s currently sleeping with that makes the loudest sex noises. I’m fine with hearing people have sex, but damn! This girl just moans and moans and moans; not just during orgasm, but the entire time they are fucking. The first time I heard it, I was woken up at 3am on a weekday to her moaning. I literally thought that one of my roommates was watching porn. It wasn’t until the next morning that I realized that someone had company over. Once again, I have nothing against hearing people fuck, but even other roommates of mine agreed that this chick was over the top in her sex noises. The entire¬†9 person household was able to hear her.

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This then got me thinking about myself and the noises I make. I masturbate pretty regularly. Depending on how sexually active I am at the time, I will masturbate at least 1-3 times in the week, sometimes more if I am really¬†horny. I orgasm 99.99% of the times I masturbate, and every time I orgasm, it’s not marked by moaning or screaming, but by my body tensing, back arching, vaginal contractions, and heavy breathing. I don’t need to moan or scream no matter how strong of an orgasm I am having.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes dirty talk, moaning, or screaming can be absolutely hot in the moment, but for me, it isn’t necessary. In fact, whenever I¬†moan/scream more actively during sex, I feel like I become¬†more focussed on how I sound than how I feel in the moment. It seems almost like an act (not that I’m faking an orgasm) but still a false reaction to the sex. Do I need to moan or scream or whatever during¬†sex to make sure you know I’m enjoying myself? Fuck no! If a guy is attentive, takes his time to explore my body, and knows how to read me based off¬†how my body reacts, he will know I enjoyed myself. Added sound effects are fine, but not necessary.

Many guys I’ve slept with have expressed their enjoyment in making a girl moan or scream to me. Statements I’ve heard from guys include:

“The louder you get, the more turned on I am.”

“I wanna make you scream!”

“I love hearing you moan.”

“Cum for me! Cum for me!” —- First off, I hate when a guy tells me to cum for them, it usually takes me out of the game. But this guy was actually doing an amazing job eating me out. He was a master at using his fingers on my g-spot, licking my clit, and playing with my nipples simultaneously. As he looked up to tell me to cum, I was already extremely close, then he buried his face back into my vulva, tickling my clit with his tongue again. This one statement “Cum for me!” although doesn’t directly state anything about noise¬†in that very moment, tops¬†the list still because of his reaction afterwards. When I did cum, my build up and reactions were as follows: I let out slight quiet moans/whimpers as my breathing got a bit heavier, my back started to arch, I kicked his hand away from my vagina (I have a tendency to do this, something about simultaneous g-spot/clit orgasms get too intense sometimes), and then came a body quivering full release orgasm. I then¬†pulled him up to kiss him afterwards. I guess I didn’t moan or scream loud enough because after everything was said and done, he asked, “Did you cum?” I told him I did with a smirk across my face because the orgasm was mind blowing. Then he said “Oh, I didn’t realize because you didn’t really react.” If he was paying attention to my body, he would know that I reacted. My entire body reacted. Perhaps if I kept his fingers in my vagina, he would have felt the contractions¬†and known for a fact that I came, but even then he probably still would have questioned it because of the lack of noise.

It’s obvious that porn has skewed many mens’ perspectives on what sex is supposed to be like and many women have catered to this. Men, please learn that noise doesn’t mark an orgasm. And women, do what you do naturally. If moaning and screaming is what actually gets you to cum or you really like doing it, great. If you’re just moaning and screaming because you think that’s what expected of you or you’re faking¬†an orgasm all together (which is worse and another topic of discussion down the line), consider taking a step back and find what really works for you. Once I stopped moaning/screaming for my partners based on their expectations, I feel like my orgasms came easier and were stronger. After¬†reevaluating my reactions, everything felt more natural;¬†I was thinking less about how I sounded and more about how I was feeling.

Stop acting and start reacting.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

The Quickest Strip Tease

My parents’ friends were going on a vacation for a week, so my parents¬†agreed to watch their two sons¬†Cory¬†and¬†Sam. I was probably six or seven years old and Cory¬†was a year or two older than me. Even at such a young age, I clearly remember liking boys already. I had a huge crush on Cory and this week of him staying with my family was a dream come true, that is if I could get him to notice me.

Cory, Sam, and my two brothers Jack and Dylan were soaked into playing Super Nintendo for most the week. I tried to hang out with them, but they couldn’t be bothered with a girl wanting to play with the boys. It wasn’t fair.

Throughout the week, I tried to play video games, build legos, and shoot nurf guns with them to get Cory’s attention. My brothers kept telling me to leave them alone and I felt completely hurt. After days of this, I was fed up and started to scream at my brothers, “It’s not fair! I just want to play with you guys! Why can’t I play?”

To avoid getting into trouble with my parents, my older brother Dylan finally let me play some Super Mario Kart with them. I was terrible, but Cory laughed at me crashing all over the place. It might have worked a little, but he didn’t really seem interested in me, he was more entertained by how terrible I was at the game.

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The week was almost ending and I had very little time to get Cory to like me, so I asked my older sisters Ashley and Sarah to help me, “How do I get a boy to like me?”

Both of them giggled, and Sarah said, “You like a boy? Who?”

“Cory, but he doesn’t even know I exist.” I replied.

Ashley reassured me, “Boys are dumb, they don’t know how to read those signs.”

“What can I do to get him to like me?” I asked.

Both of them whispered to one another, giggled, then Sarah said, “You just have to show him how much you like him and I’ve got just the secret tip to make it happen…” She paused.

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“What do I need to do?”

Sarah whispered into my ear her secret tip. I then said, “I don’t know if I can do that.”

Ashley chimed in, “Oh, but he’ll love it. I promise.”

So that night, when I got out of the shower, I found the perfect opportunity to do the secret tip Sarah and Ashley told me. Cory was all alone in the living room playing Super Mario, so now was my chance to get him alone. I waltzed into the living room wrapped in only a towel and stood right in front of the TV.

“Move! I can’t see.” Cory demanded.

I then opened my towel and flashed my naked body to Cory. His jaw dropped. He was speechless. He didn’t say anything. There was an awkward pause and I didn’t know what else to do because my sisters said once I flashed him he’d be begging to be with me, but nothing. I quickly covered myself back up and ran up to my sisters’ bedroom crying.

“It didn’t work!” I was so upset that me flashing Cory didn’t work, that I didn’t realize that I should have been angry about my sisters pranking me.¬†Ashley and Sarah comforted me saying that everything’s going to be ok.

The next day, Cory and Sam’s parents came and picked them up. Since then, I saw Cory a few times, it was terrible every time. Cory would make fun of me for getting naked in front of him, and then I would run off mad that he was making fun of me. A couple years later,¬†my family and I moved away and I haven’t seen Cory since.

Since Cory, I have learned that getting naked, although can get instant results, might also be better to wait for after a date or two. Oops!

Signing off.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

Call Me!

I bartend part time, so I have had a great deal of guys hitting on me at work. Last night was surprisingly slow for a Friday, but probably because it was snowing crazy out.¬†A woman walked in and bee lined straight to the end of the bar, away from everyone else. She was relieved to I was serving her¬†because as she put it, “I’m so glad you’re a woman! The last thing I need right now is to deal with another guy today. Guys can be total creeps!”

I agreed with her saying “I’m sorry you’ve had a shitty day. Guys can totally suck, which is probably why I am taking a break from boys.”

We continued to chat about all the guys we’ve had to deal with. She’s a massage therapist¬†so we both have had our share of creepers. She was telling me all about the guys that try to make a move on her while she’s massaging them and the guys that ask for her number. She said she even had to put a restraining order on a guy because he followed her after work to a bar then all the way home. As I was closing the bar up for the night, I closed out her tab, then she lingered for a moment. Usually that’s the point when the customer says thanks and leaves. She didn’t.

She asked, “Would you wanna come over to my place for drinks?”

I hesitated not knowing how to break it to her, “Ummmm…”

She added, “It’s been really great talking to you and I would love to get to know you.”

“I really can’t.¬†I have to finish closing, then get home myself. It’s late and…”

Before I could finish telling her I wasn’t interested in women, she interrupted, “I hope you change your mind, I would totally make it worth your while. Call me!” She then slipped me a bar napkin with her number on it¬†and walked out.

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I couldn’t help but laugh about it. I threw out the napkin and didn’t follow up with her. Not that I wasn’t curious, but she was pretty drunk at that point, I doubt it would have been any good even if I did go over to her place. When you take a break from boys, somehow that translates to I’m now into women? Maybe I should have called her.

This incident led to something unexpected. A little backstory; there’s a guy named Shane that I used to date about a year and a half ago. We stayed in touch after we stopped seeing each other but it was minimal, that is, until we both started bartending. I became a bartender last May, then he got a bartending job¬†in August. Now that we are both in the same industry, we have more in common than we did when we were dating, so we text pretty regularly now, mostly about the people we meet.

It has been a running competition for us to text when we get phone numbers. I have been killing it, but Shane hasn’t been doing too bad himself. When I got home last night, I texted him about the chick at the bar and added sarcastically at the end of the text, “Now that I’m taking a break from boys, women are flocking to me!”

We texted back and forth for a few responses, then he texted, “Can I call you?”

I replied, “Yes.”

Shane called, opening the conversation with, “Tell me more about this chick at the bar!”

I proceeded to tell him the entire story. We laughed and continued to talk for almost two hours. Even when we dated, we NEVER talked on the phone for that long. In fact, the only time we ever spoke on the phone was to call to see where the other person was when we were about to hang out. Why did he want to call me now? Is it because of the incident with the chick? Perhaps it was turning him on to imagine me with another woman. Or is it because I said I’m taking a break from boys? Maybe this posed as a missed chance with me or maybe me taking a break raises the bar for a challenge. I guess I will see if this continues…

This break has been interesting so far.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

French Kiss?

Sex, although a very adult action, is something in the back of people’s mind from an early age. We might not be aware of it, but a child’s¬†curiosity inevitably leads to questions about sex.

Why do boys have wieners?

Where do babies come from?

Mom, why do you have hair there?

These are all questions I have asked my parents when I was a young child¬†and it didn’t stop there.¬†My questions went beyond asking my parents, as did the questions my peers had.

Growing up, my family was close with our neighbors. When my parents needed it, my neighbors would watch my siblings and I, and when the neighbors needed their kids watched, my parents would do the same. Between two houses and a duplex, there was 16 kids. It was great, we always had a blast playing together.

One moment I remember in particular was when my older sister Ashley, my neighbor Luke who was around my age, Luke’s¬†older sister Hannah, and myself¬†were watching TV. There was a kissing scene and after the kiss, the guy went to his friends to brag about it by saying,¬†“I kissed her! Not even just a kiss, but a¬†french kiss.”

Being only five years old at the time, I had no clue what a¬†french kiss¬†was, so the curious child that I was, I asked Ashley,¬†“What’s a¬†french kiss?”

Ashley’s response, “It’s kissing, but with tongue.”

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The show continued. Luke and I were sitting on the floor waving our feet back and forth. His foot would hit mine, then I would hit his foot back. It was playful. Ashley and Hannah saw this and thought it was cute.

They chanted, “Luke and Kallie sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G…”

“Stop!” I yelled, annoyed that they were making fun of us.

Our sisters giggled and stopped chanting. Luke and I stopped waving our feet and even put space between us. We continued watching the rest of the show. Then our sisters left to go do whatever it is they were doing, leaving Luke and I alone in the living room.

After several minutes passed, Luke broke the silence and¬†asked me, ¬†“Do you want to kiss me?”

“No,” I exclaimed. “Do you want to kiss¬†me?”

There was a pause. Luke then asked, “Do you want to try it?”

I hesitated, then one upped him, “Want to try a¬†french kiss?”

He agreed, then after a bit of deliberating, we decided the right way to french kiss was to count to three then stick our tongues out and touch our tongues together.

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We simultaneously counted “One – Two – Three” and both of us stuck our tongues out and touched just the tips together. We both jumped back, scrunching our faces, completely grossed out by ¬†our¬†tongues touching one another. He spit from disgust, I grabbed my juice box and chugged it to wash out the taste of our¬†french kiss.

Whether I knew it or not at the time, my curiosity about sex was blossoming at age five. I might not have been mature enough to know what sex is, but I wanted to know things. Sex is something I have always been intrigued by.

Until next time…

 

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus